Taking a Ride On the Crazy Train: What I Got, What I Learned, Destination Truth Stops Here…

recently, i found myself on what i can only refer to is “the crazy train…” here is what happened before i woke up… came to my senses and jumped off…

it was a normal day, started out the same as every other day… yet here i am over 12 months later waking up on this crazy train and the only word coming out of my mouth was (an expression used by my 2 year old) “WHAT…”

the following is a very brief glimpse into my “crazy train ride” spending the last year or so going through what i thought was just a need for a ‘new look,’ a fashion update of sorts… however after throwing out all my old clothes, buying new clothes then losing weight and having to throw out the new cloths and buy more new clothes… deceiving myself by buying ‘vintage’ clothing on ebay, spending waisted gas, time and $ driving to and from  macy’s, goodwill, marshall’s and tj max (both of the last two have great inexpensive coffee…) that really did not work and traveling down a desperate fashion trail for the perfect jeans, shoes and hair style for a guy in his 40s… selling my cool vintage bmw for a cooler ‘newer’ vintage mini cooper… auditioning for every singing reality show I could get to, creating a really weird (yes, Adam i am finally admitting it) Youtube page… trying to update our house and make it look like something from HGTV all the while working at being a devoted husband (and not drive my wife too crazy) and a good dad without losing my patience, freaking out or burning out… i won’t even get into my work and life as a pastor (for now anyway)… WHEW…

i began to think… i am really missing something and creating a silly, dramatic mess for no reason…

through all this vain concern and futile pursuit (another way of saying, “how embarrassing and what a waist of time…”) i came to the realization that perhaps i had not lost my fashion sense and what a silly concern in the first place… the only real dilemma was the financial, mental, crazy one i created on the crazy train of self-discovery that… I WAS SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VERY OWN MID-LIFE CRISIS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis)… “SUPER UGH!”

ouch… i thought i would be able to skip this or at the very least it would not catch me by surprise…

CRAZY TRAIN EXPERIENCE: what i got, what i learned and the truth i turned back to…

what i got on the “crazy train” was a good pair of jeans (ok 2 pair) for a guy in his 40’s (buffalo, NOT skinny jeans), discovered a great cheap bottle of red wine (lucky duck), a collection of vintage T-shirts (from macy’s and ebay) a great camel winter car coat from ebay, spent fifty bucks on a pair of converse sneakers (WHAT) and began riding my bike, watching what i was eating and lost 20 lbs…

what i have learned (again…) is that none of these things will ever make me happy… infact unless i continue to chase after Jesus i could easily spend the rest of my life on the crazy train and one day… in my vain pursuit of self, probably fall of the crazy train and get run over… WHAT!

the truth God continues to mercifully teach me… when you find yourself on the crazy train… don’t think, don’t rationalize, don’t buy another thing… jump and turn to the Lord for help…

– 16 But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18

taking a ride on the crazy train: what i got, what i learned and the truth i turned back to...

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